Our baby is due in May! We have decided not to share the actual date because babies pick their own birthdays! Knowing the specific date doesn't tell us anything about when this child will decide to make an appearance :)
I am finally able to breathe! And celebrate! So to update!
We found out we were pregnant around August 24th 2014. We were at a concert at the Gorge in Washington. Zach was set to leave on deployment in about a week (after only being home for 30 days!) and I was super anxious about catching this cycle.
I wouldn't allow myself to feel the symptoms until we got a positive. I remember that Zach wanted to look at the stick before me. We were camping. I went to the porta potty and then put the stick in the car. It was close quarters. He looked in the car. Came out and I could not read his expression! I know he didn't want to say anything because there were so many people around so he told me to go look. I was convinced it was negative! But the second line was there! I was so happy.
Because of our history we needed to get my progesterone checked stat. Unfortunately I was not in the hands of the most capable providers so this was a huge hurdle. We did discover that low progesterone was an issue and started supplementing. Due to concerns about viability I had my first ever ultrasound at 6 weeks. I was convinced there would be no baby to see. I was so happy to see a nice strong heartbeat (95) and a baby measuring perfectly on time!
My care was still less than spectacular so I was trying to switch providers. I was finally able to be seen by an OB around week 10, this was only a pit stop. My anxiety was through the roof due to my previous care provider repeatedly telling me this pregnancy was not viable and being very inconsiderate to me. I had chosen a midwife locally who I LOVE but wanted to make sure everything was ok with the baby. So, I had another ultrasound at 10 weeks.
Baby looked amazing! The OB assured me that everything looked fine and we shouldn't feel worried about losing this little bean. We got the go ahead and referral to my dream midwife!
So in my first trimester I dealt with a lot of nausea. I never actually got very sick but was unable to eat because I felt so sick all the time. I lost almost 15 pounds. I was pretty tired but mostly so sensitive to smells. I had a million migraines with no relief. I am so thankful to be in my second trimester and to be not only feeling better but "out of the danger zone".
I am eating everything in sight and am so tired I feel like I could sleep for weeks!
My first appointment with my midwife was just wonderful. She is so caring and sweet. I've always dreamt of using her as my midwife but she didn't accept my insurance until this year. Perfect timing!
I see my midwife again in just about a week. I am looking forward to hearing my baby's heartbeat. I always felt very strongly about the use of Doppler. But my losses have caused me so much anxiety that I am willing to give on this in order to give myself peace of mind.
Besides dealing with the grief of our other two losses, nothing prepares you for the joy miscarriage sucks out of any subsequent pregnancies. Every day it's a new concern. I feel a little crampy=instant anxiety attack. My symptoms go away for a few days=panic attack. I am really working on letting go and trying to enjoy. It has gotten better over the last few weeks.
Here are some pictures :)
Our official Facebook announcement
Belly picture around 3-4months :)
Cloth diapers!
