Happy thanksgiving!

I hope everyone had a lovely thanksgiving holiday. 

Zach wasn't here but my parents, older sister, one of my older brothers, and my 6 year old neices came to my house and we had a lovely time! I made my regular Michigander turkey and it was as good as always. 

My mom and neices stayed wed-fri and we decorated for Christmas. I am still hoping Zach will make it home for Christmas! 

My belly has grown! I don't have much to update regarding this baby :) I will share some belly pics and some clothes I got on Black Friday!

My diaper stash is pretty complete, just waiting on one more shipment of diapers. My next big purchase is a woven wrap! The one I want it called snow diamond and is made by girasol. It is so beautiful!!! It's a rainbow wrap and I'm totally excited to wrap my rainbow baby in a rainbow wrap! (Image taken from google image search) 

We are so close to half way it's so exciting!!

1 week ago 

Today 

Baby clothes! 

Loving life

I'm into month 4-5 of this pregnancy! Other than being extremely tired all the time I am feeling great. I am so tired, but can't fall asleep at night ha! It's a really fun cycle. I look forward to weekends when I can sleep in to catch up on sleep. 

We found out this week that Zach won't be home until well into January :( this is so disappointing for two reasons. One he is missing christmas and two we might not be able to delay the anatomy scan until he gets home. I will be talking to my midwife about our options at our next appointment in 2 weeks. 

After we lost our two babies last year I got this remembrance necklace to commemorate them. It is so special to me. I haven't taken it off since we found out we were pregnant with this baby. The charm is the mamas arms and the teardrop is her little baby. It's my way of keeping my babies with me. 

I've also been brewing my own "pregnancy" teas. Every day at lunch I put them together and drink them every night at dinner these teas provide a multitude of nutrients to the baby, me, and the placenta. A lot of what I've read is that they can help your blood to clot and avoid hemorage during and after birth. All the herbs were recommended by my midwife as safe during pregnancy. 

From left to right: red raspberry leaf, oatstraw, lemon balm, rosehips, and nettle leaf. I also add some raw honey to add some sweetness. 

For my recipe I boil about 20oz of water and add it to a mason jar and seal it for 4 hours. In the mason jar is 1 tablespoon of honey, 2 tablespoons of nettle lea, 2 tablespoons of oatstraw, 2 table spoons of lemon balm, 1 teaspoon of rosehips, and I'm at about 1 teaspoon of red raspberry leaf. In large quantities red raspberry leaf can cause contractions because it tones the uterus. I started adding this herb in my second trimester and only a tiny tiny bit, I've slowly been increasing the amount I put in each time I brew to build a tolerance. 

I do notice when I don't drink my teas I have less energy and my mood isn't as stable. I try to make it everyday day but I usually drink it 4-6 times a week. 

And finally a bump picture from this week! the muscles around my belly are getting sore, which I'm not complaining about! It's just a sensation I've never had before. I also am having a hard time bending over to pick stuff up, so I've started doing a squat/bend routine to avoid the uncomfortable feeling when my uterus gets squished!

Signs

I'm more pregnant than I've ever been! I never thought I would reach 4 months! But here we are :) it's very exciting to be getting closer and closer to actually holding our baby this spring!

Zach and I have names picked out for a boy and for a girl. We aren't sharing the names, yet! We have known our boy name for a while. And it hasn't changed. But our girl name has! We had a different name picked out but I didn't LOVE it. So we started thinking about other names. Zach suggested a name that I like but wasn't sold on. We were mulling this name over, rather I was. We knew we were trying to get pregnant and we were hopeful we were (we were!).

We went to a local farm to get ice cream and this dog kept coming over to us to say hello and get bites of treats and pets. I finally looked at the dogs collar after pondering what the dogs name was... And it was the name we had picked! About two weeks later, after we had found out we were indeed pregnant, we went to a sporting event. One of the most celebrated players last name was the name we had picked out! There have been numerous signs about this baby being a girl. Almost everyone has said it is, and people subconsciously say "she" and "her". Today I saw a print for a baby item that had the name! It just popped up in my newsfeed out of the blue. So many signs! :) girl or boy we will be happy :) 

Most recent bump pics!

Appointment update!

Today I had an appointment with my midwife. 

We opted to do genetic screening and I had my "prenatal" screens (a little late lol). I hadn't had my prenatal screens done since my first pregnancy so we just checked on them this time around. 

Everything came back great! This baby is low risk for any genetic abnormalities. Also my screens were wonderful! My vit B is a little low so I need to supplement for that, not uncommon for the PNW. 

And I got to hear the baby's heartbeat! Which is always very reassuring. When Zach and I found out the bad news about our first baby the nurse at the urgent care center spent almost an hour trying to find the heartbeat via Doppler. It was really traumatizing to me. Now when I wait for the MW to pick up the heartbeat with Doppler I feel anxious awaiting the sound of the heartbeat. It's always very relieving to hear it. 

It's so strange how my losses have shaped my experiences with this pregnancy. Previously I was against all ultrasounds and the use of the Doppler. Even though I still don't love the idea of the use of these, I'm comfortable with the decisions I've made so far regarding these technologies. I feel the risk of those is outweighed by the reduced stress and anxiety it bring me. 

As we get further along I'm feeling more comfortable and able to relax and let go and enjoy. I'm enjoying my firsts with my prenatal care and I am really in capable caring hands. This is wonderful especially with Zach being gone. 

I'm so in love with our little rainbow! :) 

Baby items!

I meant to share the awesome "stuff" I've gotten for this baby! 

Ergo (Buddy was used for practice and loved it!)

A very special ringsling given to me by a group of women I have known online for years! It is called ascend and is to memorialize all the babies we never got to hold <3 very special place in my heart. Mason enjoying the ride :) 

Two fuzzybunz diapers :) 

A lot of cute cute cute items from my dear friend Gretchen! I just love the clothes she picked out, she knows me so well :) 

A book and a teether I picked up at a baby store after our ultrasound at 10 weeks :) 

And here is the baby! This was our ultrasound at 10 weeks :) 

Also, October 15th is miscarriage and infant loss Remembrance Day. I went to a little event for this and sent a lantern off to the skies for our two little loves we lost before this pregnancy. Here are some pictures :) 

Tired

I am so very tired! And coming down with a yucky cold :( I do not know how single moms do it. 7 weeks and counting down until Zach gets home! 

In the meantime, we are almost 4 months into this pregnancy! I have an appointment with my (FABULOUS) midwife on Thursday and I am really looking forward to hearing the heartbeat. I've taken to writing lists on my phone of things I want to talk with her about, which is needed because I can't remember ANYTHiNG! 

Pictures :) 

From week 8ish

This week! (Almost 4 months)

My belly is getting rounder and starting to look like an actual bump! 

Things I am looking forward to: feeling the baby move! Zach coming home and then finding out the sex!

Feeling: lonely, tired, but happy :)

3 and a half months!

I am finally starting to be able to eat meat again! I'm really trying to eat healthy, that can still be a bit challenging. This baby is so loved! Zach has been on deployment since 6 weeks and will be gone until probably right around 5 months. We are waiting until he gets home to do our anatomy scan until he is back! We already have two names decided depending on boy or girl. But we aren't sharing! ;) 

I'm still SO exhausted all the time. But I am beginning to get my motivation back which is helpful for school work!

Here is a belly picture from this week :) baby is starting to pop out! I love you baby!!!